Places Where I Have Performed

Astley Castle

Alrewas Festival

Bilston Voices, Bilston
Bring & Share, Library Theatre, Birmingham
Cafe Blend, Birmingham
Cafe Yum, Custard Factory,Birmingham
Cafe Zelig, Custard Factory, Birmingham
Cannon Hill Park, Birmingham
Central Library, Birmingham
Dog & Partridge, Digbeth, Birmingham
Hit the Ode,Victoria PH, Birmingham
Ikon Gallery, Birmingham
Mad Hatters Tea Party, Spotted Dog, Birmingham
Margaret Rose Abri Cafe, Digbeth, Birmingham
Mixing Bowl Theatre,Rhymes, Digbeth, Birmingham
Old Crown, Birmmingham
Ort Cafe, Balsall Heath, Birmingham
Poetry Bites, Kitchen Garden Cafe, Kings Heath Birmingham
Station Hotel, Kings Heath, Birmingham
Sunday Xpress, Adam & Eve PH, Birmingham
Vegg’d Out,Fletchers walk,Birmingham

Waterstones, Birmingham
Spoken Worlds,Old Cottage Tavern, Burton on trent

Trinity Lounge, Burton on Trent
Word Wizards, Buxton
Cheltenham Town Hall – Cheltenham Festival
Hullabaloo festival – Cheltenham
Havana Whites – Chesterfield
Night Blue Fruit,Coventry
Spoken Word, Hollybush PH, Cradley Heath
Spread the Word, Voicebox, Derby
Memoirs, Erdington Library
Mouth & Music, Boars Head, Kidderminster
Pure and Good and Right, Leamington Spa
Ledbury Poetry Festival
Shindig,Gt Western Hotel, Leicester
Darwin’s House, Lichfield
George Hotel,Lichfield

Kings Head, Lichfield
Lichfield Library
Methodist Church,Lichfield
Spark Cafe, Lichfield
St Mary’s Church ,Lichfield Mysteries, Lichfield
Globe PH, Ludlow
The Annexe, Lydney
Great Malvern Hotel, Malvern
Youth Centre Malvern
Much Wenlock Poetry Festival
Market Square, Nuneaton
Fizz, Polesworth Abbey, Polesworth
Lawns, Polesworth Abbey, Polesworth
Shifnal Festival, Oddfellows PH, Shifnal
Shrewsbury Coffee House, Shrewsbury
Stafford County Hall, Stafford

Artizan Café, Stornoway
Streetly Library
Station PH, Sutton Coldfield
Bookmark,Bloxwich, Walsall
Japan Aid, The Public, West Bromwich
StrollersPH , West Bromwich
Poetry Train, Britannia Hotel, Wolverhampton
Museum& Art Gallery, Worcester

Old Rectifying House, Worcester
Parole Parlate, Little Venice, Worcester
Arts Workshop Centre,Word & Sound, Worcester
Art House Cafe, Word & Sound, Worcester
Packhorse Pub, Crowthorne
Library, Stone
Stafford Council Offices, Stafford

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Rebekah Brooks

"Rebekah has your number"


I like bad girls,
I like them rough and tough,
I like their temptress looks,
And I have to now confess to you
That I am in love with Rebekah Brooks

Rebekah will stop at nothing to get whatever she wants
Her life she measured out in front page screaming fonts
I know that she would love, to get down and dirty with me
With no prudish hang ups about illegality.

She’s mates with the superstars ,like Madonna and Sarah Brown
And if she gets pissed off, she can close newspapers down
Those svelte power suits that long red flaming hair
She’s always at the centre of things even if she wasn’t there
And even though things, did not always go as planned
She had the men on the Parliamentary committee
Eating out of her hand
And when they asked her why she didn’t know
She would draw in her cheeks as if to blow
Don’t be silly, some things she forgot
But as for wrongdoing well of course not
And they believed her

Her coquettish smile leaves me trembling
I love her cute dissembling,
When she has such trouble remembering
When criminality was at large
Even though she was in charge.

You would have thought that her reporters
Would have lined up for a smacking
When their editor had detected a spot of illegal hacking
But she didn’t

And all that she can say
Is she was away on holiday,
That these events cause much dismay,
In an, “I’ve been caught sort of way”
No worries for her about the law, I would have thought
For Rebekah has already considered that, and the law’s been bought.
She’s fond of equestrianism, with the PM by her side
Nothing untoward you understand, just a ride for a ride

Forget Dave, Nick and Ed if, for you, power is the key
For Rebekah is much more important than that,
She runs the slumber party
Which is a bit more influential than those political ones, I fear
Whose hidden manifesto was to have her most nibble-able of ears
Or maybe more,

They gazed at her ,and their self seeking libido erupted
Queuing up to have their principles corrupted
They are taking her to Court now, and act that seems quite bold
For Rebekah strikes me as a woman who likes her revenge served cold

Her beauty and good looks are a source of constant wonder
But there is one thing you should never forget,
And that is
Rebekah has your number

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My Death

Will
Be
A
Quiet
Affair.

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Spoken Worlds

Old Cottage Tavern, Burton upon Trent

BURTON is not an obvious location for a spoken word event, the natural home for which tends to be more urban areas.

But perhaps that is its secret? It draws performers from far and wide acting as a melting pot for a diverse range of poets and subjects all mysteriously mixing to produce an event which is unique, with this session stretching to three eclectic hours.

It works, and is a testimony to the skills and hard work of organiser Gary Carr. We live in uncertain times, and no event is complete without its political conscience. Andy Biddulph was happy to oblige with his trademark anti- capitalist offerings and more personal observations.

For no particular reason, the Lichfield Poets turned up in force for this evening, with no less than six of their number showing up, three of whom were making their Spoken Worlds debuts, the first was Stephanie Knipe.

Steph intrigued, then delighted the audience with a diverse set incorporating wheelie bins, bovine diseases, wine tasting, horses that don’t complete their races and, most memorably, phobias about ducks. Jan Arnold took a different tack, performing short, incisive pieces with a touch of the risqué, “The Little Black Dress”, “Sauce” and “Two Umbrellas”, the latter of which is one of the best double entendre poems I have heard in a very long time.

“Kaleidoscope” was perhaps her most interesting piece. It was introduced as a poem which had no meaning, but was really simply themed around the letter K, something that the audience subliminally heard, but not introduced. Third debutante was Brian Asbury whose seasoned stage background ensured a strong set, the highlight of which was, “The Lunar Society”.

The regular performers were equally on form, Janet Jenkins spoke movingly on domestic violence, touchingly about her “Wish List”, and came up with a cracking image of empty coat hangers as testament to a lost love. Ian Ward picked up the male/female communication theme with “Big Trouble”, whilst the irrepressible Fergus McGonigal from Worcester unleashed the quick-fire lyrically dense and extended “Conversation” in a typically humorous and sharply observed piece.

EARLY MORNING COFFEE

Fresh from his success as poet in residence at Nuneaton’s Poetry Day, Mal Dewhirst reprised all the poems which had made the day such a success, from his early morning coffee, through his search for the River Anker, culminating in his collaborative poem from which he built around words submitted to him from around the world. The following day he was to compete in a West Midlands Poetic Relay across the Midlands.

The event is part of a series of events organised in the run up to the 2012 London Olympics as part of the Cultural Olympiad, so this performance amounted to a “training run” of sorts, although hopefully the audience was more discerning than the pigeons who will be selecting the order of performance for the Relay Event!

Margaret Torr has a fine body of work behind her on pastoral themes and relationships, tonight she impressively broadened that with ”Human Kind” a refugee’s tale of savagery and humanity which was both harrowing and uplifting.

It is always a delight for events such as these to provide a platform for the serious as well as the light hearted. I always enjoy Tony Keeton’s work which tends to veer joyously from the philosophical, to the whimsical. “Question” came in the former category, and the quite brilliant “Faux” from the latter.

Gary Carr combined smooth running of the evening with his own offerings, some of which were from his recent appearance at the Buxton Slam. And it was from Buxton that Rob Stevens had travelled to deliver poetry to his usual high standard and perform a very good song about grown up children leaving home, the guitar accompaniment offering some welcome aural light and shade to a very enjoyable evening.

“Spoken Worlds” next plays on Friday 19th August at 7. 30pm. An occasional open mic event of light verse is also to be held at the same venue on the evening of Friday 12th August.

22-07-11

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Where You Will Find Me – August

Mon 1st, Library Theatre Birmingham, “Freedom” event 7.30pm
Tues 2nd Night Blue fruit, Coventry
Mon 8th Pure and Good and Right, Leamington Spa
Fri 19th Spoken Worlds, Burton
Sun 21st Soho House, Brum, Mr Murdochs Birthday Party
Mon 22nd Shindig, Leicester
Thurs 25th Bilston Voices, Bilston
Tues 30th Word Wizards Buxton
Thurs 1st Sept Parole Parlate, Worcester

And beyond……………..
Oct 7th Warwick Slam, Unitarian Chapel
Oct 22nd Malvern Slam

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Rhymes

Station Pub, Kings Heath

Following an itinerant period, “Rhymes”, Birmingham’s longest established poetic event, has now settled on the Station as a regular venue and the traditional values which had built its original success are now much in evidence.

Three out of the four featured poets were local, the headliner was from Cambridge. The result was a good turn- out, a combination of the familiar and the new, and a satisfying evening.

First up was local student, and rising star Jodi-Ann Blickley, fresh from her recent triumph at Glastonbury. Jodi- Ann exudes a beguiling fragile, frail innocence, underpinned by a mesmerising lyricism delivered at a ferocious speed.

She writes of love, and love lost, counterpointing her youthful beauty with self –effacing uncertainty. Her tribute to her mother was heartfelt, but her most satisfying poem was a clever reinterpretation of a theme explored in Adele’s “Someone Like You” in which she imagines meeting a lover twenty years hence.

A line in which she spoke of counting her lover’s eyelashes was brilliantly, and poignantly, observed. I have followed Jodi-Ann’s performance career for some eighteen months now and she goes from strength to strength.

She is now veering into rhyming storytelling territory, which is itself no bad thing. Although I would say that her sparkling writing is sometimes submerged by the speed and pace of her delivery, sometimes a slower pace, with more pauses for the audience to savour the words, would create even greater impact.

Janet Smith was making her farewell performance before taking a holiday. I suspect that she has never paid an excess baggage penalty in her life, such is the economy of her writing, and her stripped down descriptive skills.

She is the only person whom I have ever heard agonise over the word “short” –because it is not exact enough! We started off with an examination of cities with, “Lucifer”, before heading to Scotland with, “Running”, and then taking in, “Pacific”, in an uncharacteristically longer poem.

The longer than normal tine slot suited her well, offering a context in which favourites like, “Bear”, and, “A Cry”, had even greater impact. Her poetry is always so welcome because against competition from poets offering more ephemeral topics and transient themes, she demonstrates that high quality writing always has a place on the performance circuit.

ENTERTAINING PASTICHE

Before the headliner Alan Wales treated the audience to a clever extended piece called “Under Deadwood” a witty and entertaining pastiche of “Under Milk Wood”. He combines the arch campness of Frankie Howard and Kenneth Williams, the rotten urban underbelly of the film “Twin Town” and the gentler observational comedy of Max Boyce in the manner of Mrs Williams, leaning over her garden fence while putting the washing out to gossip with her neighbour.

All of which set the stage for Fifi Fanshawe, who had travelled from Cambridge to perform. A headline act needs to be able to command the stage, and Fifi did just that. Her opening, “ I am Woman”, was a defiant tale of female snoring, farting and general bad habits which gloriously set the tone for the rest of her irreverent, and highly entertaining, set.

Janis Ian’s, tender, heartbreaking paean to teenage female angst, “At 17”, has long invited a pastiche, and Fifi did just that with, “ When I was Nine”. Having recently attended a school reunion I can vouch for the fact her poem of the same title was awkwardly accurate, but my favourite of the night was “Wardrobe”. Any man who has ever lived with a woman will have recognised their unerring ability to scan racks and drawers of clothes before pronouncing that she “has nothing to wear”.

Men smiled, women winced! Poetry when performed has to be for the audience, not the performer, and Fifi knows this with a well crafted stage persona part Victoria Wood, part Jenny Eclair part Joyce Grenfell. This was her first visit to Birmingham, I hope it will not be her last. Her website, containing information on how to buy her eponymous first CD is: http://sites. google. com/site/fififanshawe/

Lorna Meehan did her usual easy thing as MC whilst also performing the new, ” How to Swallow a Universe”, and, “All Stories are About Love”, – probably the best poem she has ever written. “Rhymes” next meets on Tuesday 20th September with David Calcutt headlining. 20-07-11

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Fizz 8

Polesworth Refectory Polesworth

Organiser Mal Dewhirst has a sure touch in the guest poets he invites to Polesworth, and this months Fizz was no exception.

Matt Merritt was the headline attraction whose debut collection, Troy Town, was published by Arrowhead in 2008, with a chapbook, Making The Most Of The Light, by HappenStance coming out in 2005.

His poetry has appeared in magazines and anthologies in the UK, USA, Canada and Australia, Matt lives locally, and works as a journalist for Bird Watching magazine. His most recent collection, from which he read extensively, “Hydrodaktulopsychicharmonica”, is available from Nine Arches Press.

I have seen Matt perform before at Shindig in Leicester, but his large body of work meant that much of what I heard I was listening to for the first time. ”Dreams From the Anchor Church” was particularly strong, taking us back to Anglo- Saxon times in which he “struck out with my face to the future/to find myself walking through the past”.

His affection for history also manifested itself in “Drinking With Godberd” as he visited the Robin Hood legend. Matt’s connection with natural themes, whether it was the Chirimoya fruit of South America, or the Swifts of Leicestershire, engaged and delighted in equal measure. Those wishing to explore his work further should visit his blog site at: http://polyolbion. blogspot. com/

RELAY RACE

Mal himself revisited his recent successes at the Nuneaton Poetry Day with his collaborative poem “ In a Single Moment”, and “Nuneaton”, in which he traced the subterranean flow of the River Anker. He also trailed news of his upcoming project this Saturday 23rd July which will see ten poets travelling around the Midlands writing poetry in a relay race with one poet passing the baton to the next poet who will add the next part of the poem.

The relay starts in Stoke on Trent and then on to Burton On Trent, The next stop is Polesworth where Mal will take the baton before passing it on at Hatton Country world, following with Worcester/Droitwich, Malvern Hills, Bromyard, Highley, Telford and finishing in Stafford. The Poets will travel on a minibus being collected as they take the baton, The poem will be read at each of the locations as it grows on it journey around the Midlands.

The ten parts of the poem will be attached to ten pigeons from the Birmingham Pigeon Project and released in Stafford, back to the loft in Birmingham, the final order of the poem being decided by the order in which the pigeons arrive back at the loft. The event itself is part of a series of events organized in the run up to the 2012 London Olympics as part of the Cultural Olympiad.

As always the supporting cast of open –micers excelled, none more so than Barry Patterson whose lyrical tribute to the Apollo moon landing was a joy. Gina Coates observations on Body Image were sharp, whilst “Citizen Andy Biddulph” kept the home fires of the revolution burning with his customary anti-capitalist diatribes, some culled from his embryonic website “The Luddite”. Fizz 9 meets on September 20th at Polesworth Refectory at 7. 30pm. 19-07-11

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Body Image

Too tight, too big, too low too small
It never quite fits the way that she is
The straight down hips, the protruding ribs

She can buy kids clothes, looks like a doll
Aspiring to the appearance of a juvenile
To regress playing hide and seek for a while

His milky arms pause in contemplation
Youthful beauty paraded and bare
Sculpted chin ,supple calf beyond compare

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo

Bacchanalian excess wild conflagration
Yet never quite enough to sate the pain
From the outside in, gorging refrain

A grotesque weight bears down
Willing wilful disfiguration
The final gulp sweet peroration

Cat walk strut alluring sway
Turn that shoulder then walk this way

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Lichfield Festival – The Lounge & George Performances

The Pre-Show Get Together

This year the Lichfield Festival has been a curious affair, seemingly top heavy with high ticket out-of –town performers, and light of local talent.

Poetry, save for the appearance of Carol Ann Duffy, has been poorly served. That is a huge shame. Thriving poetry groups operate in Lichfield, Polesworth and Burton with several more close by. Performance poets with a national reputation also perform across the Midlands.

So the appearance of Lichfield Poets at the Lounge cafe and the George Hotel, both in Bird St, for two, free, twenty minute performances, was welcome to all enthusiasts of spoken word- and they did not disappoint.

Performing poetry to an audience of the curious, who are free to leave at any moment, is no easy task. Lichfield poets tackled this by sheer weight of numbers. There were seven performers reading quick fire poems that rarely lasted more than a minute or so woven together by a central presenter who introduced the performers and poems to keep things moving at a brisk pace, and it worked. The art is not one of literary brilliance but of a neat idea and a memorable turn of phrase to hook the audience.

UNIFYING CALL

Janet Jenkins opened wisely with the unifying call of “We Want to Be Together” whilst later entertaining with tales of a copulating frog stunned by a mobile phone which she had dropped, and some errant false teeth. The zeitgeist of a mid summer’s downpour was captured by Jan Arnold with “Two Umbrellas”, and she shamelessly flirted with her “Little Black Dress of Desire”.

Two poets stood out with their humour. Brian Asbury has a robust acting resume and his confidence and projection held him in good stead with “The Aardvark and the Squid” and his “Peculiar Pet (pterodactyl)”. Stephanie Knipe maintained the surreal by warning us of the sentience of Wheelie Bins and the dangers of sending gateau through the post, incorporating content which David Lynch might deem preposterous.

“Naughty Naughty” was a thoughtful vignette on what it is like to be a small child and was well delivered by Marjorie Neilsen. Poems about relationships are meat and drink for poets, but Val Thompson was fearless in performing “A Well Worn Marriage” with her husband in the audience!

Perhaps she was hoping that forgetfulness, as explored in her sharply observed “Automatic Recall” would come into play? Yet it was her evergreen “Stylist Theresa” which for me has the authenticity and simplicity of Beatles Lyrics circa “Penny Lane and “Eleanor Rigby”, which shone. The two sets closed with “Lichfield”, an impressive, evocative cinq cinquaine, which had been written, and was performed, collaboratively.

And so the performance drew to a close, in two venues, over two and a half hours. A resounding success, hopefully it will provide a platform for similar such events in the future. 16-07-11

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Take Five

Grey skies
Shroud for mans toil
Home of heavy metal
Trusty workshop to an empire
Sweet dust

Proof house
Proofed not proven
The armourers true friend
Cannon rifles and pistols bear
Its mark

Crowds roar
Test match drama
The Kop singing the blues
Tall tales of heroes and villans
As one

Roads hum
Spaghetti hub
Drawing in, taking out
Carriageways to prosperity
Still home

Mixed up
Colours and creeds
Cathedrals and mosques call
Diverse tongues with a common voice
Rich blend

(Anchor
World wide symbol
Mathew Boulton’s sure stamp
All the finest jewellery bears
Its mark)

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