Ikon Gallery

Don’t listen to me, see what joys abound
As you look around, don’t sit down
Join with me ,in the gallery, and soar,
Like you have never done before,
To places you have never been or seen

Dare, to dream.
To see what others
Have laid bare, with their fingers and imagination

Lose your inhibitions in an exhibition – of Solakov
Join him “In the City”, share his “folders”
His fears as he flies alone
“Top Secret” revealed, encrypted phone

View the index cards of his life
His pain his strife in “My Conscience Tormenting Me”
Or his murals in 3d
Or his toilet graffiti
A big man with a small idea in his head
Is what he said……..

He would like that.
For you to know
A little more about, Sedko

For here is to explore
To tell others what you saw
To live just a little bit more
And maybe, for you to remember a phrase, a word
From that poet , whose thoughts you heard

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Three Poets walk into a Pub – Shifnal Festival

The Shifnal Festival is a vibrant affair in a village seeking to make its mark, and succeeding. Ken Dodd opened the twelve day run of paid for and free events. Ian McMillan was appearing on the Wednesday, but on Tuesday a healthy crowd turned out at the Oddfellows Public House for a combination of headline performance from Simon Lee, Emma Purshouse and Mark Niel – our Three Poets (who) Walk into a Pub.

Mark is a stalwart of the Performance Poetry and Slam scene, I first saw him perform a couple of years ago when he won the Muck Wenlock Slam, and tonight he was on his usual effervescent , ebullient form, opening up with his signature My Name is Niel through the Lozell’s Prayer and beyond. Few would imagine that having your name misspelled in a bank could result in an assault charge – but for Mark, it might!

Black Country girl Emma Purshouse was on home turf and breezed through her set of humorous observational and character based verse. Whether it be the wisecracking quips from builders to passing by women, the perils of choosing the wrong Welsh town to have an automobile accident in, or neighbours with twitching curtains, Emma has a story to tell about it. Wry and always warm.

Solicitor Simon Lee opened both the evening and the headline slots. His skill lies not in the verbose and grandiose, but in concise pithy comment on the world around him. Whether it be Robert Preston’s skills as an economics commentator, Patrick Moore’s skills as an astronomer or Richard Whitely’s skills as a Countdown presenter, Simon has a poem for them, and very well they went down too.

Local poets were strongly in evidence too, none more so than festival organiser and Marc Bolan expert Tony Stringfellow who entertained with Politician (not Cream’s version!). Lyn Curtis lyrically wrote of Cardigan Bay, Steve Harrison predicted a riot with Words and Jack Edwards stole his mentor’s opening line, before launching into In the Pub. My favourite open mic performance of the night came from Jane James whose poem Snoring combined the touching and comic in just the right measure.

With a strong bill of mainstream events it was a delight to see the success of what amounted to a Fringe event drawing in the travelling poetic hard core ,local poetry aficionados, and a fair few people having a pint who wanted to see what all this poetry lark was about. They, like everyone, enjoyed themselves.

20/9/11

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Hermit’s Lament

Cave wanted for
Philosophising

Have own blanket
Donations of cheese, bread

Herrings and gin
Welcome

Proximity to barbers
Unimportant

Please contact at
Oops…………

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Variety Night, Imperial Banqueting Suite, Bilston

The subtle assimilation of poetry into mainstream entertainment was much in evidence on this bill with three out of the four main acts having a poetic background, each artist taking the form into different areas. A good turn-out in very agreeable surroundings provided a strong platform for them all to strut their very different stuff .

A variety bill requires a skilled compere to draw together the disparate elements and tonight we had one in comedienne Iszi Lawrence. A southerner parachuted into parochial Black Country territory, she needed to find her feet fast . Fortunately she did so by spotting a school age girl in the audience, Katy . This provided an ongoing connection and theme as the evening advanced ,even though it may have caused Lawrence to temper her material slightly, and Katy to wish that her aunt hadn’t seated them at the front! Her themes were safe; awkward flat mates, the perils of living with your mum, buying your first alcoholic drink, and her penchant for Alan Rickman’s dulcet tones, (and beyond!). That easy manner was just what was required , as she breezed easily through her stand-up comedy between each act.

Heather Wastie is an artistic polymath well known on the Midlands circuit, tonight she performed as Montserrat Carbonarra, an opera singer whose orchestra was sadly otherwise engaged. But she was not going to let that put her off. A beguiling mix of comedy, light verse and………….operatic singing, she entertained and amused as the opening act, the highlight of which was when she had to improvise as an oboe too, as the oboe player also was unable to be present. The only disappointment being that the audience was ready for more when she finished – but that’s opera singers for you!

Performing a poetry set in front of an audience on a variety bill is no ordinary task. Fortunately, Jo Bell is no ordinary poet. The current holder of the salaciously titled “Bilston Love Slam”, she titillated with her risqué material (all in the best possible taste , of course), and engaged with the sincerity and authenticity of the rest. A festival regular and Director of National Poetry Day she knows how to play her audience Topics including disastrous dates, internet dating, sailors and computers were comfortable crowd pleasers, but there was no dumbing down. Context , an assembly of discordant phrases was sharp and clever, Urban Mermaid her tour de force. The latter brilliantly juxtaposed the urban grime of the Manchester Canal by Piccadilly Station, with the myth of the Mermaids in a piece of startling, and inspired, imagery.

The second half commenced with an act that had, unlike Montserrat Carbonarra, remembered their instruments, in this case a double bass – and a triangle. Paul Eccentric and Ian Newman are The Anti-Poet, a beat duo who combine comedy, poetry and music in a winning, idiosyncratic mix. Paul is the voice ( and triangle player), Ian slaps the double bass and plays the straight man in the comedy. Having recently played twenty eight gigs in seven days they were unsurprisingly well rehearsed, opening with the defiant We Are Artists before taking in the trials of doorstep evangelists, fame with Overnight Success ,and black humour with I Hope It isn’t Anyone We Know. Original in material, and striking in appearance, the crowd loved them.

Headlining was Steve Best who blasted through an initially bewildering but ultimately triumphant set. Ablaze with energy he appeared to get through half an hour’s material in the first half minute as he manically told jokes, performed tricks and made faces. Once we had time to adjust, things began to settle. We were watching a very accomplished visual comedian using props and gadgets combining slapstick, magic and stand-up. Balloons disappeared into his mouth, only for them to reappear with hankies from “the other end”, puns and one liners ricocheted around the room, and he had time to play the guitar, rather well. Very quickly the room reverberated to pretty much continuous laughter as one joke piled onto another with shades of Steve Martin, Charlie Chaplin and Tommy Cooper all rolled into one hugely enjoyable 21st century package. A worthy bill-topper and a big success on the night.

A variety night with variety, but producing a coherent whole, promoter Emma Purshouse has set herself quite a standard with this annual series of events.

17/9/11

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Spoken Worlds, Old Cottage Tavern, Burton Upon Trent

Poetry can be about pretty much anything, and so this evening proved, with subject matter confined only by the imagination of the poets. When most people see a post box they think of letters, bills they have forgotten to pay or birthday cards which must be purchased and sent. Teenage children might see it as a useful confined space to place an ignited firework . A poet sees beyond this though.

Stephanie Lunn has weightier matters on her mind, such as the problems of posting desserts – trifles, custard, that sort of thing. And then there is the matter of meat. Neatly sliced ham should be okay, mince less so, the gravy gets everywhere. Finally ,the question of posting beards, particularly when the man (or woman) is attached. Do sheep worry about the existentialist dilemmas explored by Satre and Kierkegaard? Of course they do, and then there are toasters………..Although most of us had not given these matters much thought, Steph has, and the world is a better place for it. Yet she does not simply deal with the surreal, The Camera Man , about a photographer who snatched a shot of a less than happy bride was wonderfully grounded, and resonant.

Andy Biddulph blazed through Economic Stability with a clarity that Greek Finance minister Evangelos Venizolos would have found quite useful ,and explored frontal lobe activity with an enthusiasm which 19th century Psychiatric Surgeons would have found heart-warming. Some poets perfect the art of “less is more”, Bert Flitcroft and Janet Jenkins are two such poets. Bert wrote amusingly about Poetry workshops and the Busy Ones, Janet told of cats, tennis as a metaphor for romance in Forty Love and the aspirations of a want-to –be Heavy Metal singer. Both poets were pithy, economic, and fun.

Light and Darkness is Ian Ward’s current collection, but he also debuted work for future publication exploring lost cities in Mesopotamia, and the withered wychwoods of Alaska before the poignancy of Dear John and the film noir influenced, Just Another Rainy Night. Mal Dewhirst relishes rediscovering lost or forgotten poets, and often rediscovers them at a rate of knots. August Stramm, the German WW1 poet appears to have won him over more compellingly than most however, as he has majored on him several times in recent appearances and has now taken to performing entire poems of Stramm’s in German , as well as in translation. He is right to do so. German war poetry has been all but ignored in this country. The sentiments are universal, the timbre of the words chillingly authentic. Anyone who owns a German first world war uniform must surely expect a call shortly! An intriguing coda to his performance was The Archaeological Strata of Polesworth Abbey, a clever piece on the dig in progress there in which the lines on the page can also be accessed as a dig accesses different layers and truths.

Terri and Ray Jolland entertained with their customary amusing blend of light verse and drama, organiser Gary Carr eased the evening along interspersing introductions with some very strong poems of his own after which we marvelled at how his daughter had survived the mishaps of his parenting! Before the Briefing stood out for me, a wonderful, atmospheric account of the factory floor before the night shift commences. Spoken Worlds plays again on Friday 14th October, and a tip that John Cooper Clarke is playing the Flowerpot PH, Derby on the 21st, a week after.
16/9/11

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Loose Change

A farthing was not much, even then
Just half a ha’penny

Threepenny bits were lopsided, awkward
They didn’t quite fit

The tanner, staple of pocket money
Christmas pudding surprise, and song

Two shillings never sounded as grand as a florin
A crown more famous by half

And although it is easier to count by tens than twelves
They have never been replaced

Resisting the decimal point they endure
Always a name, never a number

They linger in our memory
As coins resting in a well-worn pocket

Harbinger of delight when discovered
Never simply change

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The Visit

“We are entering the spider’s web”
My mother muttered
A world of Eynon’s pies, cockles and Welshcakes

Of strange place names and words
Where fuss is a palaver
And the cry for a mess that you see is ych-y- fi

The threads hummed as we neared our destination
Not everyone has a telephone you see
Marble doorsteps gleamed, knee imprints fading

Gran drew me close with outstretched arms
Her “lovely boy” , aunts smothering me with wet kisses
Unknown cousins gawping awkwardly

The open door swung endlessly to and fro
Relatives and friends made to come and go
Best China soon exhausted

In the parlour, with furniture shrouded in covers
Each item perfectly placed
For high days and holidays

Grandad took me by my hand, a frail man
And showed me the Anderson shelter which he had built for eight
With railways sleepers, earth and his own sweat

The Guildhall clock stood, lonely sentinel
Unintentional aiming point for German bombers
Keeping time

The runner beans were doing well this year
Spindly threads on weathered canes
Wartime thrift always leaves its mark

He shared a secret, his bayonette from the First World War
Though he never spoke of what he saw
But it is all my father now possesses which was his

Clothes sloshed in a rusting bucket
The mangle stood like an instrument of torture
Through which every item was wrung

A warm stove pulsed heat, assuaging my embarrassment
As she plunged me in the tin bath
Cooling water topped up from a boiled kettle

The buttons on my fathers Air Force Officer’s uniform gleamed
My brother and I sat uneasily
As we reported to all who asked, our age.

“I hope that you have your vest under that”
Cautioned my Gran to my Dad
And our eyes met.

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Open Mic Night@ The Great Malvern Hotel Malvern

Amy & Gary at the Great Malvern Hotel

In June I had the pleasure of meeting Amy Rainbow for the first time. She is one of those people whom it is impossible not to like, bohemian, street-wise and sharp. It was at Parole Parlate in Worcester, and she berated me when I declined to buy her book without my having the slightest idea of what she, or her work, was about. I liked her style. Then when she stood up to perform my initial favourable assessment was confirmed by a wining collection of predominantly rhyming poetry, capped off by a coruscating, “ I Don’t”, a withering rejection of a marriage proposal.

Its craft was immediately apparent, women loved it, men hated the sentiment, but could not help but enjoy it. I found it strangely unsettling, it was as if she had impugned the honourable state of men, and on the fifty minute drive home I mentally composed 400 words, which gushed into my word processor at home and I fired off my poetic response assuming that nothing more would come of it, other than a witty one-liner put down reply from the acid-tongued one. But no, that night, my inbox announced a response from her, not one line – but 600 words! She had fought fire with fire. I was compelled to do the same, with a reply to her reply composing itself that same evening, of another 450 words. Honours even, or so I thought. For the next day a further 600 words in response to my response to her response which had been my response to her original poem (you are still with me I hope) emerged. But this time, there was no coming back for me. She had earned the right to the last word – some 2000 plus of them!

So, out of nowhere, a five part performance piece had been created. It just needed our diaries to coincide. The Great Malvern Hotel open mic surfaced as a possibility. I foolishly said that I might be able to make it – inevitably the reply came back, ”I don’t do mights , I’m an all or nothing kinda girl” – which didn’t leave me much choice, did it?
I had never visited Malvern before, and what a magnificent approach it is as you travel down the M5. Hills which look quite modest from 20 miles away become increasingly imposing as you get closer, the silhouette brooding in the fading evening light. Twinkling Victorian street lights hint at a quintessentially English, up market Spa town with Georgian facades and neat curtains abounding.

The hotel itself reflected the town, with a confident, part haughty, yet welcoming ambience. The event itself was to be held in the bar which was pleasingly old fashioned with lots of wood, overseen by the delightful Lisa Bircham. Everyone seemed to know everyone else, and organiser Neil Collins busied himself whilst I was quite happy to sit, enjoying a pint, although not on my own for long. A local lady caught my eye and asked whether she could join me resulting in a fascinating exchange in which it transpired we had much in common, same age, interest in the Arts and an unhealthy knowledge of The Revenger’s Tragedy, only the fact that she was clearly at least a bottle of wine ahead of me, and the arrival of Miss Rainbow prevented me finding out more. However I did learn one thing of great importance , the town is pronounced “Molevrn”, “Mal – vern” at your peril.

As proceedings started to unfold two things became apparent. Firstly, we were the only poets on the bill, and secondly that the other artists were very able, amplified musicians. My brow furrowed as I anticipated a “character building” set, characterised by a mass exodus to the toilets, scrum at the bar, and loud conversation as we tried to deliver our set. Sam Eden, Ed Whitehead, Alisha and Callum and Mikey Mann all excelled musically, which just left us, “the poets” to alter the mood………

Having Amy read the first poem was a good move, local girl, known to them, they would show her some respect……. but we did have ten minutes, how long would that goodwill last?. “I Don’t” received a deserved warm reception, then, miraculously as I responded with “I Don’t Either”, they stuck with us ! No exodus to the toilets, no chatter, and no scrum at the bar – as the staff made it clear they were listening! You never really know how good material is until it is performed live, and the audience laughed when we expected them too – and a few times when we didn’t. It actually felt like a complete piece, and the different voices and gender perspectives kept the words alive as a “battle of the sexes” offering. A celebratory hug at the end and the cheers and warm applause as we walked off sealed a job well done.

Listening to the comments afterwards was instructive, the dual presentation had worked, they hadn’t seen poetry like that before, the rhymes and humour locked them in, it was more like a good story than a poem. And I felt great. I want to be involved in poetry that engages with an audience that hasn’t come for it and can blank it out – winning them over is so satisfying and rewarding. It also taught me the value of collaborative performance and how close the skills of storytelling are when you deliver an extended poem.

Amy and I have wrestled with the question of what a five part poem is, a pentology perhaps? And what to call it? “A five part relationship drama” sounds a bit mealy mouthed? “I Don’t- or so I thought” ,has possibilities.
A fine, warm and welcoming event ,which I would recommend to anyone on a Tuesday night. I so look forwards to performing this again in the future and will certainly look out for collaborative opportunities in the future .

13/9/11

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The Decadent Divas, MAC, Cannon Hill Park Birmingham

ArtsFest is invariably a tremendous occasion, 3000 performers, 600 events at 50 venues over two days. It is also renowned for its eclectic bill. This year was no different. It is also riven with risk. Have the right shows been matched with the right venues, at the right time? And free audiences tend to be uncommitted audiences. How many will turn up is unknown, how many will stay is uncertain. It was against this backdrop that the Decadent Divas made their debut performance, outdoors on a warm, but blustery Saturday afternoon which threatened squalls.

As a regular on the Midlands poetry circuit over the past few years it has been fascinating to see how the form, and performers, have evolved. However good the piece, the performer and the performance, there is a limit to how long any individual can hold the attention of an audience unaccompanied. Of late, two trends have been emerging. The one person variety show has been gathering momentum, as have ensemble themed performances. This was an example of the latter.

The Decadent Divas comprise Lorna Meehan, Laura Yates, Charlie Jordan and Maggie Doyle , in ascending age order. All established poets in their own right, they came together to perform material created for the occasion reflecting the experiences of women in their 20’s,30’s,40’s and 50’s respectively. A large crowd gathered on the MAC terrace for the show with numerous poetic luminaries in attendance. Each performed a self-penned piece about their own decade, with some linking chat, hosted by Charlie Jordan. It worked well. Sat behind a table with their own microphones, and fortified by a bottle of wine, it was a bit like watching a poetic version of Loose Women. A gusting wind, and some ominous drops of rain, must have been disconcerting for the performers, but their professionalism shone through as they romped through an accomplished, amusing set.

The audience was not only substantial in size, but also diverse in age profile. As each performer delivered their section , you could see the audience members who identified with that decade warming to it. Each performer met the expectation of their counterparts in the crowd admirably, and the excellent amplification ensured that all could be heard. The half hour flew by,with the rain that threatened only arriving after the proceedings were complete. Well written and well executed it was an unqualified success.

What interests me most about this show is not simply where it is now, but where it can go. Already it has been booked for Rhymes on 21st September at the Station PH, Kings Heath. Indoors, and with hand held ,rather than fixed microphones, I anticipate that the ability of the individuals to stand, walk and perform will add an extra dimension to the material. In turn, that will also increase the opportunity for cross-diva interaction. There is no question that they have found a rich formula , the detail of which is open to evolution, revision and change as time goes on, and crucially, revisits by their audience.

Gary Longden 10/9

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Grammar Quiz

I reproduce the following quiz from a bought copy of The Times.

There are twenty five sentences, grouped into five categories. The question is the same each time : “Is this sentence grammatically correct?”

The answers are at the end.

The Times Grammar Quiz – Compiled by Oliver Kamm

Punctuation

1.The greedy columnist ate all his colleagues’ blueberry muffins.

2.The greedy columnist ate all his colleague’s blueberry muffins.

3.Would you please tell me where the blueberry muffins have gone.

4.The legislation helped to advance disabled peoples’ rights.

5. The UN Genocide Convention defends threatened peoples’ existence.

Quantity and Number

6.The greedy columnist would be feeling less ill if he had eaten less blueberry muffins.

7.Neither the greedy columnist nor his irate colleague are likely to forget how quickly the blueberry muffins vanished.

8. The difficulty of reconciling competing claims to national self-determination and establishing a Palestinian state while ensuring Israeli security have confounded the efforts of international negotiators.

9. To maintain that imposing longer prison sentences and levying harsher fines will reduce crime is not supported by recent history.

10. Extending the maturity of Greek Government debt and reducing the interest on it are unlikely to resolve the crisis.

Pronouns

11. The greedy columnist, who his colleagues believed could eat no more blueberry muffins, surprised them again.

12. As America’s economic recovery continues to be slow, the willingness of the Federal Reserve to keep interest rates low will bring reassurance not only to President Obama but to whomever occupies the White House after 2012.

13. It was he who gave the columnist a final warning about eating all the blueberry muffins.

14. Let us divide the last blueberry muffin between you and I.

15 Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Participles and Gerunds

16. It was a joy to see him having such a good time.

17. Stand not upon the order of your going, but go at once.

18 The Prime Minister is unlikely to announce his going before the next General Election.

19. Having bought a large pack of blueberry muffins to replace the ones I ate, they look delicious.

20.Having said that, I agree that it would be imprudent of me to eat them all.

Verbs

21. The Editor has not yet demanded that the greedy columnist submit his resignation.

22. If the Prime Minister were to call a general election next week, he would probably win a majority.

23. The Queen lay a wreath at the annual commemoration of Remembrance Sunday at the Cenotaph.

24. If President Mubarak had governed less repressively, he may not have lost power.

25. Anti-clerical campaigners assembled to protest the Pope’s visit.

Answers

1. Yes

2. Yes

3. No (requires question mark)

4. No (People is plural noun, so apostrophe should be before the “s”)

5. Yes

6. No ( “fewer” not “less” blueberry muffins)

7. No (“is” not “are”)

8. No (“Has” not “have”)

9. Yes

10. Yes

11. Yes

12. No ( “whoever” not “whomever”)

13. Yes

14. No (“between you and me”)

15. No ( a common mangling of John’s Gospel: “He that is without sin among you, let him cast a stone at her”)

16. Yes

17. Yes

18. Yes

19. No (The participle “having” is unattched to a noun)

20. Yes

21. Yes.

22. Yes.

23. No (“laid” not “lay”)

24. No (“might” not “may”)

25. No (the verb “to protest” means to assert something against those who would deny it, as in “to protest his innocence”: but you can say “protest against”)

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