Write Down Speak Up Love Where You Live Project – Blakesley Hall

On Saturday 22nd October the “Write Down Speak Up Love Where You Live” project visited Blakesley Hall, near Yardley in South Birmingham. Maggie Doyle, Kurly, Matt Windle, Laura Yates,Spoz, Dreadlock Alien and I visited, wrote some lines, and tried to inspire others to do the same.The opening poem, in voiceover, is called The Gilbertstone. It was inspired by the legend of a stone which lies within the grounds, reputedly transported by the giant Gilbert.The video finally closes with another voiceover of a poem of mine , one dedicated to Birmingham – Take Five

The sun shone, and a fine time was had by all. Although a children’s poem, and my first in that genre, it is strange how a sense of place fills you when you write on location. I hope you enjoy the above record of the day, and my voice and poems book-ending it.

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November Poetry/ Spoken Word What’s On

Tuesday 1st November Night Blue Fruit, Taylor Johns Canal Basin, Coventry,8pm: Open mic, free in, Barry Patterson Hosts

Thursday 3rd Fizz 9, Tythe Barn Polesworth Abbey,7.30pm, free in. From Dublin Afric McLinchley, Colm Scully, Jennifer Mathews plus open mic

Thursday 3rd Parole Parlate, Little Venice, St Nicholas St, Worcester Richard Tyrone Jones, Bobby Parker, Nicola Callow, Beth Knuckles Edwards, Sam Hunt,Huw Parsons Andrew Owens, Eugina Herligy, John Lawrence, 7.30pm £3 in.

Thursday 3rd Yard of Tales, Joules Yard, rear of 53-55 High Street, Market Harborough, Leicestershire, Storytelling, 7pm, £6in Joules Yard is a unique venue with a licensed bar after

Sat 5th Pomedy Show, Arena theatre, Wolverhampton,7.30pm: £9in Celebrating the 50th Anniversary of Jamaican Independence.
Bringing together Poetry and Comedy with incisive social commentary and music, Yasus Afari engages with Marcia Calame, local poets and comedians to bring an evening of laughter and learning.

Sun 6th Artournamnet Glos Sunday Chill, The New Inn, Noon-10pm.Bonfire of the Vanities Slam,Jack Dean, Johnny Fluffy Punk, Amy Rainbow, Peter Wyton, Ash Dickinson, Spoz, Brenda Read Brown,Michael Wilson, Suz Winspear, MstrMorrison, Crispin Thomas, Emma Purshouse, Timothy Brewis, Jeremy Tooms, Fergus McGonigal, Rose Dun, Shabz Ahmed, Chris Dibnah

Mon 7th The SW@N Club – Spoken Word at the Newhampton, Wolverhampton at 8 pm – 10.30 pm. Admission – suggested donation on entry.Storytelling, poetry, a tune or a song, take part in the open sessions or just sit back and enjoy the variety of performance. Most sessions are open spots but approximately every three months there is a performance in the second half by a professional artist (supported through donations).The club meets in the upstairs room at the Newhampton Inn, Riches Street, Whitmore Reans, Wolverhampton, WV6 0DW.For further details please contact Peter Chand http://www.chandstory.com

Mon 7th Hammer & Tongue, Left Bank Theatre, Cheltenham Rd, Bristol: 8pm with Tim Clare plus open slam.

Mon 7th Pub Poetry, Canal house, Canal St Nottingham, 8pm: Free in, An evening of poetry in the pub, mixing beer and comic literature.It’s an open mic night for poetry, short stories, songs if ya got ’em – the only thing is they should be funny. Everyone is welcome to read, either your own or someone else’s stuff. No advance notice required – just turn and say you’d like to read.It’s entirely free and is held in the upstairs room of the Canalhouse. Starts at 8pm with periods of reading, drinking and writing limericks. All jolly good fun.See you there!

Feel free to email me if you’ve got any queries: nicholas.tyler@btinternet.com

Tues 8th Wolverhampton City Voices, City Bar, King St, : £3in Set Bill, Simon Fletcher hosts

Tues 8th Stony Stratford Scribal Gathering The Upstairs Room at The Crown, Market Square, 7.30pm,Free in. Richard Frost Hosts

Tues 8th Tales at the Edge, White Lion, West Castle St, Bridgnorth,8pm,free in: Storytelling,Mike Rust officiates.

Wed 9th “Spread the Word!” Open Night, The Voicebox, Forman Street, Derby, DE1 1JQ (look out for the Abbey Street car park signs from the new Derby ring road.)7.30pm. £3 in

Flying Donkeys are pleased to present an Open Night of spoken word and music – tales, poems, prose, monologues and acoustic music of all kinds. Previous evenings have brought us a multitude of fabulous performers! Do come and join us as listener or performer – note if you would like to perform it helps to get in touch beforehand if you can so we can plan the evening.
Flying Donkeys are pleased to present an Open Night of spoken word and music – tales, poems, prose, monologues and acoustic music of all kinds. Previous evenings have brought us a multitude of fabulous performers! Do come and join us as listener or performer – note if you would like to perform it helps to get in touch beforehand if you can so we can plan the evening.
As part of a new initiative of introducing new performers, this evening will feature a special guest spot from London storyteller Stephe Harrop. Stephe is a sensitive and stylish performer whose tales evoke the vanished worlds of the past and fantastical worlds of the imagination. Her stories weave together history, legend and fantasy with the traditional songs and ballads of the British Isles.

For tonight’s event Stephe is performing an excerpt from her show “Powder & Plot” – an intricate and compelling set of stories for Guy Fawkes Night, unearthing from the streets of Jacobean London, the battlefields of Europe and the deceptive peace of the English countryside, the tragic tangle of politics, religion, loyalty and love that shaped this most famous of plots.
“Spread the Word!” was recently reviewed by http://www.behindthearras.com:
“Spoken word events traditionally major on poetry, interspersed with the odd prose piece to provide a bit of a break. “Spread the Word” turns this concept on its head by majoring on storytelling, and using poetry and music as the interludes – and very well it works too… each main performer not only had a distinct style, but also the stories themselves were quite diverse, ensuring a satisfying, stimulating and rewarding evening.” Gary Longden, reviewing “Spread the Word!” June 2011.
We even provide scrumptious cake too! To register an interest in performing contact Sophie on Tel 01332 840007 or email info@flyingdonkeys.co.uk or just let us know at the door when you arrive on the night. Tickets are a straight £4 or £2 if you are performing!

Wed 9th The Quad Derby, QUAD, Market Place, Cathedral Quarter, Derby, DE1 3AS 19.30 Free in, A monthly night of performed poetry for everyone, new performers always welcome or just come and listen, Les hosts.

Wednesday 9th November Dave Reeves will be performing his show Black Country Dialectics, based on his Offa’s Press pamphlet, at Bilston Library, Mount Pleasant, Bilston, WV14 7LU, 4-5pm. Free event. Dave will be supported by Chris Lomas and Heather Wastie.

Thur 10th Word Up Poetry Open Mic plus headliners,The Drum Arts Centre,The Drum, 144 Potters Lane, Aston, Birmingham, , http://www.the-drum.org.uk Seasonal monthly, 7.30pm, £5in.j.morley@the-drum.org.uk

Thur 10th What Are They Whispering? a poetry show, New Art Exchange, Nottingham ,7.30pm,

Fri 11 Walsall Central Library Jo Bell,1.30 – 3.30pm, Free in,Don’t miss this opportunity to meet famous poet Jo Bell at our poetry workshop event, with “The Feel Better with a Book Group”.Meet in the museum’s education room.

Fri 11th Myth Covered Peaks, Brewhouse Arts Centre, Unions St, Burton upon Trent, 7pm;Free in, a documentary film by local film maker Jim Moore exploring the myths and legends of the Peak District with contributions from local poets and storytellers.

Friday 11th The 10th Solihull Slam, at the Arts Complex, 7.30pm. with Spiel, Marcus Moore and Sarah-Jane Asbury

Sat 12th A concert for a can of beans, Charity show in aid of the Food Bank. West Bromwich Community Church, Victoria Street, West Bromwich,B70 8EX,7.30pm: Spoken word with some acoustic music.Cost: A can of food for the Food Bank,Tickets from Nigel Self 0121 612 3396

Mon 14th Pure and Good and Right, the Sozzled Sausage, Leamington Spa, 7.30pm, £3in Open Mic, George Hardwick MC’s.Peter Wyton headlines

Tues 15th Poetry, Performance & Pizazz at the Boar’s Head in Kidderminster, 7.30pm. A performance and workshop with Emma Purshouse and Heather Wastie.

Tues 15th Poetry Club Giggling Goblin Coffee Shop, Mill Lane, Ashby de la Zouch– it starts at 8:30 to 8:45pm with a licensed bar and great coffee. It will then be on the third Tuesday of the month.

The event is hosted by Brian B. Langtry, who ran a poetry and folk club in the Black Country in the Mid 1970’s, which ran until the pub closed down. Brian has always been keen to mix the arts and has decided to give the Folk and Poetry format a revival in Ashby. As Brian’s flyer says the Performers are from the audience.

Wed 16th Storytelling Café Kitchen Garden Cafe, York Rd, Kings Heath, £7in with Red Phoenix telling traditional terrifying tales.

Thurs 17th 3 Poets Walk into a Pub at Ye Olde White Hart, Kinver,7.30pm, free in, with Emma Purshouse , Mark Niel and Heather Wastie

Thurs 17th Speak Up, Bulls Head, Moseley, Birmingham, 7.30pm: headliners plus open mic,£5in http://www.bullsheadmoseley.co.uk/

Thurs 17th Go Wild/Lion Appeal POETRY Event, Staion Pub, Kings Heath 8pm,£5.00 entry
Elaine Christie, Helen Calcutt, David Calcutt, Matt Nunn from Nine Arches Press

Mon 21st Word of Mouth, Bristol Old Vic, Kings st, Bristol. 8pm: £8in Byron Vincent, with guests Luke Kennard and Tom Phillips.

Tuesday 22nd Poetry Bites, Kitchen Garden Cafe, York Rd, Kings Heath, £5in Poetry Bites next meets on November 22nd when the headliners will be local author (Ghost Town Music) and poet, Bobby Parker and Joseph Horgan . Horgan was born in Birmingham to Irish parents and currently lives in Cork. He won the Patrick Kavanagh Award for poetry in 2004. He writes a weekly column for the Irish Post, reviews and contributes to radio and television. His first collection, Slipping Letters Beneath the Sea, was published in 2008. Last year, he published his second collection A Song at Your Backdoor.

Thursday 24th Hit the Ode, Birmingham , Matt Harvey/Catherine Brogan plus open mic, £5 in, Bohdan Piesecki hosts

Thursday 24th Bilston Voices, Metro Cafe, Bilston, 7.30pm, set bill, £3 in, Emma Purshouse hosts

Friday 25th Spoken Worlds, Old Cottage Tavern, Burton on Trent,7.30pm, free in, Ash Dickinson plus open mic, Gary Carr hosts

Sun 27thrd Rhyme and Tells at the Six Bells in Bishops Castle, Shropshire,8pm, free in: Mike officiates, Storytelling evening

Sun 27th Adam & Eve, 5pm Poetry Marathon- Open Mic- Acoustic Acts- Bands,A whole afternoon and evening of poetry madness- all to raise money for this year’s Children In Need appeal.

Children In Need poetry marathon- a sponsored hour of non-stop poetry at montly events, the Sunday Express. Free entry event- all poets taking part are asked to donate £1 to be part of the marathon, and to get some sponsors if they can! All welcome- read your own poem, some-one else’s- marathon between 5pm-6pm, acoustic acts, bands and open mic all afternoon.

Sponsor forms for the event available from sammywroteunder@googlemail.com

Please do join and be part of this-www.bbc.co.uk/pudsey.
Your change counts. From counselling projects to help children get over grief, trauma counselling, beds for children who would otherwise sleep on the floor,to grants for brain injury units and visual impairment play schemes- this wonderful charity really do make a difference.

Tues 29th Word Wizards Grove Hotel, Buxton 19.30. £3inOpen mic three minute slam format, Rob Stevens hosts, More info: Poetryslamuk@aol.com

Tues 29th Telling Spaces ,Mythstories, the Morgan Library, Aston Street, Wem, Shropshire, SY4 5AU.7.30pm, free in: Storytelling

Tue 29th 3 Poets Walk into a Pub at Ye King & Castle, Kidderminster Station ,7.30pm, free in, with Emma Purshouse , Mark Niel and Heather Wastie

Wed 30th Worcester 42 – Open Mic Night Boston Tea Party , Broad Street: 7.30pm; £4 in ‘42’ is Worcester’s first & only Gothic, Horror, Sci-Fi & Fantasy Open Mic Night for all those who love the genres & everything in between. “42” takes its name from Douglas Adams’ answer to life, the universe, and everything.

Wed 30th Manchester Bad Language, Castle Hotel Oldham St7.30. Set Bill, hosted by Daniel Carpenter.7.30pm. Anthology launch plus open mic.

Sat 3rd Dec German Market, Birmingham “Love where you live”, 11am-3pm, create, write and perform, open mic. Free event

Sun 4th/5th/6th Christmas Voices, George Hotel, Bird St, Lichfield.7.30pm £9.75 inc pie& wine. Intimate Theatre presents Christmas Voices, a specially designed compilation of light hearted poetry, music and drama for the festive season which will keep everyone thoroughly entertained. The George provides the perfect backdrop for the show, which combines old favourites with originals and humour with pathos and is an essential part of the Christmas celebrations at the hotel.

Tuesday 6th Dec Amnesty Benefit, Poetry Bites, Kitchen Garden Cafe, York Rd, Kings Heath, £5in celebrating the 50th Anniversary of Amnesty International and Human Rights day. Joel lane and Anthony Fuller headline, Kay Fuller organises on fuller40@hotmail.com

Fri 9th Beauty & the Beast Slam, Stroud Valley Artspace,4 John Street, Stroud GL5 2HA: 7.30pm £5in
01453 751440
http://www.sva.org.uk/home/contacts.html

Fri 9th Smart Poets Open Mic Poetry Party Vegd out, 7 Fletchers walk, Birmingham,B3 3HJ.: 7.30pm Gary Longden headlines

Sat 10th Lit Fuse, Mac Cannon Hill Park, Birmingham, 7.30pm:£8 in.A showcase of the best of Brums up and coming poetic talent, directed by Cheryl Martin.

Wed 14 Darwin Suite, Assembly Rooms, Derby, Sleeping Beauty and Alcestis Storytelling· 7:30pm – 10:30pm,First of two chances to see this lovely evening of storytelling and music in the Midlands – the perfect mood setter for the week before Christmas!

Award winning storyteller Daniel Morden breathes new life into the most haunting of tales, Sleeping Beauty, telling it alongside the Greek myth of Alcestis, awakening a frisson of resonances between the stories. Oliver Wilson-Dickson (violin) and Dylan Fowler (guitar) accompany the tales with heart-stopping original music, infusing them with drama, atmosphere and emotion.

Tickets £10 (£8 concessions) from Assembly Rooms Box Office
Tel: 01332 255800

Wed 21st Dec Storytelling Café Kitchen Garden Cafe, York Rd, Kings Heath, £7in with the Storytellers Studio telling seasonal tales.

Posted in Midlands Poetry What's On | Leave a comment

Lamplight

His world imploded into deep breaths
As if incapable of taking enough air
She stood there
A shadowy figure under fragmenting light
Incomplete

Inert, passive, he sat
She had seen him, he had seen her
High boots, slender legs, long hair
The door opened, the interior light
Bathing her in unexpected glare

Uncertain words and glances flickered
In calculated assessment

It was the ordinariness of the flat
Cheap but tidy
A letter opener lay on her bookshelf
Its dull sharpness latent

They coupled on the soft sofa
On a rug roughly thrown to collect the sweat
And semen
Their bodies moved in time
Chance harmony in discordance

Fumbled normality played
Mumbled platitudes made
In the emptiness
She asked to be returned to where he had found her
To be absorbed once more by the indifferent darkness.

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Where You Will Find Me Nov/Dec

Tuesday 1st November Night Blue Fruit

Thursday 3rd Fizz 10, Polesworth

Tuesday 8th Lichfield Poets, Cruck House

Wed 9th Flying Donkeys, Voicebox, Derby

Fri 11th Jo Bell, Walsall Library,1.30pm

Mon 14th Birmingham Stanza

Thur 17th Nov Go Wild/Lion Appeal POETRY Event is now on Thursday 17th November at 8pm, £5.00 entry Jewellery and Born Free Stall, at The Station Pub/Hotel,Kings Heath, Gary Longden, Elaine Christie, Helen Calcutt, David Calcutt, Matt Nunn from Nine Arches Press

Tuesday 22nd Poetry Bites

Thursday 24th Hit the Ode, Birmingham , Matt Harvey/Catherine Brogan

Sat 3rd Dec German Market, Birmingham

Tuesday 6th Dec Amnesty Benefit, Poetry Bites

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Hit the Ode, Victoria PH, Birmingham

Organiser Bohdan Piesecki is a glutton for punishment. Not content with organising a seven nation dice slam a couple of weeks ago, he still found time to put on the regular monthly Hit the Ode. As usual, it did not disappoint. Bohdan’s pursuit of international stars is relentless and tonight we had Dizzylez from France who delivered a set “au poil”. Speaking in French and English, and utilising a loop and wooden beat-box (for train sound effects), he delighted, teased and entertained in an entertaining, multi-media presentation sometimes with translation on screen, sometimes without. His hip hop fascination was obvious (le Slam) as was his interest in call and response with Sur le Pont. Tonight he performed without musical accompaniment from his frequent on stage partner Skuba, but his energetic performance was never short of interest.

Pret de la mere stood out, cleverly using the loop for an atmospheric sonic background of waves ebbing and flowing to underscore his vocal , reminiscent of the Roxy Music song Sea Breezes from their eponymous debut album. Bryan Ferry ( and particularly Brian Eno) would have liked it. My favourite was Today we are Free, an Orwellian satire,with a pan European appeal as Europe slides from rampant consumerism into the financial abyss.

Tshaka Campbell was second on the bill for an impressive, yet slightly frustrating performance. His roots span London, New York and Los Angeles and his poetry draws from all three locations. Commanding, charismatic, authoritative and lyrically dexterous, he had everything going for him. The problem for me was that the material he chose, fine in its own right, somehow didn’t quite hang together. The third part of a relationship trilogy set in the Bronx epitomised this, I felt that I was being offered a snapshot, when I wanted a film. A battle of the sexes pairing was also uneven, Love Hard for women was strong, You Gotta Know My Name, for men, surprisingly less so. Brimful of energy and ideas it would be interesting to see Tshaka performing a full set in which he had time to breathe and establish his groove.

Third on the headline bill were Type S, a newly formed Brum Supergroup of rising young talent comprising Matt Windle, MstrMorrrison and Jody Ann Bickley. Matt has been around performing for so long, and has achieved so much, that it is easy to forget how young he is. Opening up, he offered the assuredness of a pro with I Predict A Riot, a thoughtful youthful take on the summer disturbances, far removed from the braggadocio of the Kaiser Chiefs song of the same title. MstrMorrison is developing into a substantial arist with his opus April’s Eyes showcasing his talent. Although a performance piece, the more I hear it, the more I am struck by its depth with Springsteenesque explorations of struggle and redemption. Sometimes the rightful precociousness of youth can cause performers to over reach themselves in the subjects they tackle. His understated style make his words and story even more compelling. MstrMorrison is now on the cusp of being able to be more ambitious in the material he attempts as his core craft is so strong, watch out as he does so . Jody Ann Bickley took to the stage for an emotional appearance, made as she only just starts her recovery from a debilitating illness. She is a fantastic voice with a maturity of observation way beyond her years. Her reflections on a lost love, and how she might see things in the future was poignant, her vision of what everlasting love might look like for a couple in their dotage wistful, elegiac and a delight. All the Brum poetic community offer our best wishes for a speedy recovery to Jody Ann.

And so to the undercard ,which was probably the strongest I have seen at Hit the Ode and featured numerous HTO debutantes . The ever reliable Heather Wastie was given the onerous responsibility of opening the evening, and proved a safe pair of hands with the topical Halloween Nightmare and tales of black country butcher bloodletting sufficient to prompt mass vegetarianism, newcomer Chris Ewing’s staccato style of delivery was confusing, Suz Winspear’s was not. Dressed resplendent in Gothic garb, Suz teased and entertained in A Seduction is Attempted – with an Ostend transvestite, and Dear Bridget , a study on how to commit a murder. Showy, fun, amusing and clever, a bit of an object lesson in how to do this performance stuff really!

Jess Green’s style and Jody Ann’s are quite similar, confident, sassy and hip, she rattled through Beyond the Kettle and Scratchwood Green in some style. My appreciation of her first poem was enhanced by my having misheard the first title, inexplicably, as Bamburgh Castle. This resulted in my mind racing into overdrive as I sought to find a link between the words and title – which didn’t exist! Her explanation, and apology, in the latter poem that she only knows the lyrics to Queens Don’t Stop Me Now as a result of forced indoctrination by a friend’s mother, marked her out as a performer of taste and discernment.

Nathan Williams, who has a remarkable likeness to Simon Bird in “The Inbetweeners,” opened the second half in bold style. A View from the Dock was good, but the judge would have requested greater brevity. Fresh back on the Brum poetry scene after her stay in Syria, Elisabeth Charis lay down a distinctive and impressive marker of poetic intent, her extended piece on the sexualisation of young girls, and ill-judged female aspiration, was in the best feminist traditions, but inclusive with it, carrying everyone with her in a fine piece. Ronnie Dawsey has a catalogue stretching back fifty of her seventy years. Wisely, she eschewed tales of the good old days in favour of Randomness and Without a Door a bawdy and humorous tale which went down well. Amy Rainbow, fresh from her triumph at the Malvern Slam, closed the open mic section in barnstorming style. She combines a reserved, controlled presence, more usually associated with the High Table at a Dons Dinner, with an acid tongue more commonly associated with the ladies toilets in a nightclub at 2am. Taunting suitors, rejecting marriage proposals, and demanding commitment is all in a day’s work for Amy, great fun.

Hit the Ode returns on 24/11 with Matt Harvey, broadcaster host of Wondermentalist, and toast of the broadsheets, headlining. He is joined by the feisty, sassy and flamboyant Catherine Brogan from Ireland in what is sure to be a brilliant night- arrive early.

Gary Longden 27/10/11

Posted in Behind the Arras Reviews | 1 Comment

The Aston Hall Collection

Aston Hall

Chestnuts
Grand avenue
A mile long colonnade
Such grandeur and flat bread in a
Nutshell

Great hall
Roaring fireplace
Hosting nobility
Impressing Kings in a room and
A half

Staircase
Shattered fragments
Blown by Parliaments force
Munitions and splinters remain
In place

Secret
Tunnels and doors
To the church or beyond?
Escape route from foul treachery
And fear

Tow’ring
Wealth and excess
In perfect symmetry
Subjugation and achievement
Glowers

Alien Invasion in Aston

It is as if a spaceship had descended
A bloody great Jacobean one
Descending to destroy the muck and grime
The ugliness of what surrounds , calling time

On the careless buildings which abound

Squat and ugly temporary
Bland insipid monstrosities
That choke at its chimneys
And paw at its gates
Over run by mediocrity most ignominious of fates

A superior race with thought and care
With time to wonder what goes where
Should visit us fast
To conquer those who build not to last
For Holte and Watt were visionaries too
Not men for suffering architectural fools
Who allowed place and sightlines to be wrecked, blocked and mangled
All in the name of progress and new fangled

The alien forms would question the intelligence,
Of those who thought that the M6 had perspective relevance
To splendour and pride and artistic aesthetics
The bungled attempt at modernising heretics
So roll out your weapons and your powerful armouries
And flatten the offending to restore landscape harmonies.

The Long Gallery

Where ladies pout whilst showing out
Escorted by husbands or young men
Where gossip slips from indiscreet lips
Of who, and what and when
With reports exchanged of Trafalgar or Waterloo
Or other tales of Empire derring-do
On the turn she might expose a heel, perhaps an ankle
Just a glimpse enough to make paramours thankful
Haughtily ignoring the gasps, the sighs
For really this was but light exercise
When outside rain might smudge a perfectly powdered nose
Or risk a stain on virgin white hose
When precipitation might flatten carefully coiffeured tresses
Or dampen the line of voluminous dresses
Which dipped, swept and ostentatiously swayed
At the distinguished , morning promenade

The Great Hall

I had imagined that it was always like this
Dark heavy hue on ancient panelling
Distinguished, authentic, imposing

Until a chipped fragment revealed the truth
Light bright vibrant oak
With bold veins

I looked again
Only then did I see the grimy glazed layers
Of soot, touch, stain and repair

Veneers that accumulate
Disfigure, dull, sap
And I thought of us

Visitors

They stood silent, erect
Imperious figures by the fireplace
Standing, impassive, unmoved by the hearth’s heat

Mysterious, but of unquestionable social status
Their deportment and the cut of their cloth
Resplendent for all to see in high finery

Distinguished guests of Sir Thomas Holte
Welcome and revered visitors
Of an uncertain Parish

For whom places must be set
Cushions plumped
Rooms made ready

To whom deference, a bow and a curtsy was demanded
Accompanied by offers of refreshment
And hot baths

Not by way of hospitality
But of amusement
To the dummy boards

Groom to the Stool of the King

(Inscription above the fireplace in front of which the servants dined)

If service be thy means to thrive
Thou must therein remain
Both silent faithful just and true
Content to take some pain

If love of virtue may allure
In hope of worldly gain
In fear of God may thee procure
To serve do not disdain

If you are groom to the stool of the king
Whenever his aides came beckoning
It was your task to produce his throne
A seat of which he called his own
For kings do not attend a lavatory
Instead they come to him you see
A noble regal affectation
Providing comfy defacation
And because sometimes before relief
His majesty would sup upon gold leaf
The groom would sift the contents rough and runny
As where there’s muck there’s always money

Posted in Poems | 1 Comment

The Man Who Wore Tweed meets The Girl in Floral Prints

Amy Rainbow wrote the first poem, to which I replied.”The Man Who Wore Tweed” is included in Amy’s excellent collection “Poems of the Unrequited” and is available via her website. You should buy a copy – she made me!

Home

The Man Who Wore Tweed- by Amy Rainbow

I was done running round after pretty young things
Had enough thrills and spills and the heartache it brings
And although debauched living was plenty of fun
It was high time my life as a nun had begun
So I dumped all the hair dye and ditched all the glitz
Swapped breath taking corsets for clothing that fits
Then I popped to the bookshop for something to read
And that’s when i met him the man who wore tweed

He was after a book called the mind of MacBeth
While I wanted romance not madness and death
But then as he queued he defended his choice
With such fire in his eyes, such delight in his voice
That I wanted to talk and to listen to more
For here was a passionate man I was sure
Then for once in my life I let him take the lead
And was asked out for drinks by the man who wore tweed

He was old, almost eighteen months older than me
But had manners and grace and was gentlemanly
We chatted for hours got drunk on champagne
Till the manager threw us out into the rain
And we laughed and began to walk home through the park
Where we sang in the moonlight, and danced in the dark
And then when he kissed me I melted weak kneed
That’s the moment I fell for the man who wore tweed

He inhabits my dreams and lights up my days
He pokes fun at my sesquipedalian ways
And i in return make the odd playful swipe
At his trilby and cords, at his slippers and pipe
But despite seeming utterly wholly mismatched
We’re both ready to end all that no strings attached
So yes i confess i will have to concede
That I’m smitten, bewitched, by the man who wears tweed

For a change I am sure that my judgement’s not wrong
More distinguished than handsome, more clever than strong
Quite unlike all the men that I usually meet
He’s a vet who breeds beagles and deals in antiques
It’s a meeting of minds not libido’s and lips
And i find that his company always outstrips
That of youths living loosely and spreading their seed
Yes, I’d far rather be with the man who wears tweed

He’s honest and tactile yet funny and deep
He plays jazz on piano and sings me to sleep
He’s the rarest of finds, a reliable man
And my friends think its strange, but I don’t give a damn
Because what they don’t realise and what they can’t see
Is he makes me feel safe and he lets me be me
Now my life is complete, I have all that I need
In my country retreat with the man who wears tweed.

The Girl in Floral Prints

Young girls are so exciting and dizzy and ace
How I loved all the wooing the chat and the chase
Skyscraper heels are fetching though not built to last
Especially ,as in them, girls cannot run fast
But discos become tiresome, tight trousers a bore
And I reckoned that I should get out about more
I knew that a bookshop would deter foolish bints
And that is where I met the girl in floral prints

She was browsing pulp fiction, a dubious start
My choice in light reading is usually Descartes
My mind raced like lightning have you heard of Macbeth?
“Of course I have” she smiled with the softest of breaths
She oozed self assurance and confidence you see
Arousing my interest in her biography
So I took a chance despite what others might think
Deciding to ask out the girl in floral prints

A little younger than me though well past her youth
Her sweet words entranced me refined, never uncouth
She quaffed champagne like water till she’d had her fill
Leaving me gasping as I settled up the bill
She spent all of my money, so we had to walk
Holding hands laughing smiling just happy to talk
My courage emboldened by lust and earlier drinks
I leaned across and kissed the girl in floral prints

With flowers on her dresses and blouses and skirts
All my intuition was to fear the worst
She’s smart and she’s spiky a real philosopher
Yet try as I might I cannot get cross with her
Her flat shoes are sensible, her make up discreet
She paints pictures of daisies on the toes of her feet
She’s sassy and funny with no highlights or tints
Causing me to fall for the girl in floral prints

My friends think I am mad, I don’t care what they say
Her early morning smile just brightens up my day
And when she stays out late and I’m wondering why
It’s only a meeting at the WI
In the kitchen she bakes cakes assiduously
In bed she’s more Ann Summers than Laura Ashley
With those clothes discarded she’s a bit of a minx
Oh I ‘m so in love with the girl in floral prints

I am proud to admit I’m the man who wears tweed
And there is something on which we are both agreed
A truth which is clear to us, so firmly impressed
Never make assumptions upon how people dress.

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Shindig ,Western PH, Leicester

Wayne Burrows at Shindig


This was the last Shindig of 2011,and served as a launch for Hearing Voices Vol 4 ,the house magazine of co-promoters Crystal Clear Creators. I have had the pleasure of attending each event this year and it goes from strength to strength. Very well attended, it is defined by the quality of the floor readers as much as the headliners. Normally the floor readers are in awe of the headliners, here the headliners exchange anxious glances as the rest perform! The standard is further enhanced by the device of a two minute curfew for the floor, which was uniformly and courteously observed. This has the effect of ratcheting up the standard still higher, as hugely talented individuals offer up only their best work.

It is rare indeed for performers to eschew the need to offer translations of Latin, yet instead to worry as to whether others will correct their Latin pronunciation. At Shindig that is the way it is. This unashamed pitch at excellence works well, bringing out the best in everyone. For it is about excellence, not elitism, with young students and the less experienced encouraged and welcomed.

The first half was promoted by Nine Arches Press with Matt Nunn overseeing proceedings. First headliner was Mal Dewhirst, of Polesworth Poets and Fizz fame, who covered much poetic ground in his set. He name-checked the Pitmen Poets, and Alfred Williams, the Hammerman (Railway) poet, whilst sharing with us an innovative layer poem based around an archaeological dig which can be discovered, and read, different ways depending upon which layer you approach it from- innovative stuff. Mal has a strong sense of place in his work which physically manifests itself in the Polesworth Poetry Trail in which he has been so dynamically involved and from which he read Kites.

Closing the first half was Nine Arches press Editor Jane Commane who clearly relished the chance to perform her own work for a change rather than sorting out the work of others. She has a pleasing light touch with her poetry of the everyday , whether it be music, road by-pass protestors or gasbagging.

The second half was lead by Crystal Clear Creators impresario Jonathon Taylor who also performed a poem of his own, Neutron Star, which I found quite profound. His first headliner was Charles Lauder Jnr, from San Antonio ,Texas by birth, but now resident in Leicestershire by choice. I enjoyed him very much. His languid drawl from the Deep South complimented his writing perfectly. He also offered my favourite poem of the evening about the Stone Circles of Keswick, and the legend that they are wizards turned to stone for some transgression by the gods. Whether it was the simple pleasures of Coffee ,or the more demanding task of Finding Time about Einstein’s Theory of relativity, Charles was a stimulating and entertaining reader.

The closing headliner was Wayne Burrows, a distinguished literary figure ; editor, reviewer, poet and lecturer. In addition to bearing an uncanny resemblance to Mani, of Primal Scream and Stone Roses fame, he was also brimful with ideas. The music connection must have influenced him subliminally, for he visited translations of 1960’s pop songs performed by young Czech and Polish girls even though he speaks no Czech or Polish………. Great fun, and very entertaining. I have never thought of doing a poetic sequence on Apples, but Wayne has, which was lyrical and pastoral, his sonnet sequence on impending economic doom was atmospheric and portentous.

Doing justice to the floor readers for the night would be impossible, such were the riches on offer , so I shall not attempt it. Instead I give mention to two performances which delighted me .Mark Goodwin’s poetic account of climbing Cader Idris with his two year old daughter on his back, and the balance that was required to execute the task, was as beautiful and breathtaking as the views there. Deborah Tyler-Bennett’s two poems from The Ladies of Harris’s List, an 18th century guide to whores evoked a wonderful sense of time and place as well as being exquisitely written.

Shindig will be unwrapping its presents in December so next meets on Mon 30th Jan, 2012. Hearing Voices Vol 4 is available from Crystal Clear Creators, and myself.
24/10/11

http://www.crystalclearcreators.org.uk/
http://www.ninearchespress.com/

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3rd Malvern Annual Slam, Malvern Youth Centre

It was fitting that Behind the Arras should make the effort to attend this Slam as the Youth Centre has closure hanging over it, to be determined on the 24th November, further evidence of the corrosive effect these harsh economic times are having on community facilities and the Arts. A full house turned out to support organisers Dee and Caitlin for a night of poetry boasting a particularly high standard. The convivial bonhomie in the bar beforehand was reflected in the competition after, one of respect and good humour.

Thirteen poets did battle over three rounds with Dee oiling the wheels, and offering a few poetic bon mots himself. An intriguing aspect of this slam was the diversity of performer, and performance, with unusually, the majority having notes as a prompt. Many Slams feature performers who eschew notebooks, sheets of paper or, (if you are lucky) a copy of a book of their printed work. I am never quite sure why. Poets are poets, not actors, and there is no requirement to have learned everything by heart,even though the freedom of movement and enhanced eye contact which a recited poem affords is undeniable.

The opening round didn’t have a dud in it, but Bill Thomas, Lydia Davis, Sarah Tamar, Ally Oxterby, Catherine Crosswell and Jezz were cruelly axed by the heartless judge as the competition requires. Sarah Tamar performed a defiant, overtly political piece Thatcher’s Legacy , and Catherine Crosswell, one of my favourite poets, spoke of baking cakes in a way that only Catherine can. Bill Thomas, a secondary school teacher ruminated on Kitchen Appliances whilst Jezz opted for a brilliant discourse on the problems of being an Rural MC, and the struggles that Snoop Doggy Dogg never has to face – like sheep.

Audience participation was a prominent feature at this Slam with no fewer than three of the six semi finalists using the device. Heather Wastie’s Halloween Nightmare chorus worked the best in the first round and was seasonally timeous .The nursery rhyme innocence, intertwined with malevolent intent, is a winner. Tim Cranmore disarmed us in the first round with a pastoral piece about the river Severn. Then cut loose with the Armageddon laden Where is God in the second round complete with ensemble requiring chorus. Tim is a compelling, powerful performer, and he delivered this piece with a zeal that judge John Hathorne from Salem would have been proud of. I liked it.

Girolamo Savonarola (21 September 1452 – 23 May 1498) was an Italian Dominican Friar, Scholar and an influential contributor to the politics of Florence from 1494 until his execution in 1498. He was known for his book burning, destruction of what he considered immoral art, and what he thought the Renaissance which began in his Florence—ought to become. He preached vehemently against the moral corruption of much of the clergy at the time. His main opponent was Rodrigo Borgia, who was Pope Alexander VI from 1492, through Savonarola’s death in 1498. As such, he is not an obvious choice for a call and response performance poem – unless you are Peter Wyton. The chorus, a reprise of the said Friar’s surname ,was chanted to the tune popularised by the television advert exhortation to ,“Bring out the Branston”. Hugely entertaining, I am not sure what it all meant though ……………………………………

Defending Champion Adrian Mealing spoke of bikes in the first round, and Dr Fox in the second. Not the ex Radio One DJ you understand, instead the ex Defence Minister. Poetry, like cartoons, has the capacity to cut the pompous and self righteous down to size. Adrian achieved this with some style, but sadly it was not enough to take him through to the final this time.
Dan Jukes, revealed to me over a beer afterwards that he is an occasional poetry performer, which is a shame, because tonight he shone and excelled, right through to the final. His style is quick fire, staccato and witty, with shades of Michael Barrymore, but without the swimming pool. Normally I tire of dyslexia poems, but in the hands of Dan it works , cleverly intertwining song titles as well without allowing the familiar lines to detract from the poem itself. His closing “list poem” It Might Be Good in Theory was yet another triumph of artistic ingenuity over a well worn format, but not even that was enough.

Amy Rainbow is quite a talent, she combines the on stage authority of a Headmistress with the mischief of a St Trinian’s schoolgirl. She is largely still during delivery, apart from a penetrating look to ensure that her audience is both listening closely ,and getting the jokes – she need have worried in neither regard tonight. Self Mastery had a killer pay-off line, I Don’t stands as one of the best poems of poetic misandry I have ever heard, and The C Word is destined to catch the audience out every time. Amy was a worthy winner, and although the culling process en route can be a harsh affair, the two best performers on the night invariably make the final as was the case here.

And so, with the cheers of acclamation ringing in Amy’s ears, the evening came to a close .If the centre fails to beat closure I am sure there will be no shortage of alternative venues keen to host this fine event in the future. Organisers Dee and Caitlin are also promoting Ian McMillan at the Coach House Theatre, Malvern this Friday 27th October.

Gary Longden 22/10/11

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The Gilbertstone – Blakesley Hall

Hewn from the tallest cliff
The craggiest crag
The roughest rock
It stands defiant as a dragons tooth
Wrenched from unyielding ancient strata
To claim ancient lands
When monsters roamed, wolves marauded
And bears lay in wait
Yet this was Gilbert’s land
With the strength of a hundred oxen
And the determination of a thousand men
He dropped his rock, marker
Sign of his great giant’s power
Left to leave lesser giants in fear
And mere mortals in awe
Bulging menacingly from the ground below
As some would have it Giant Gilbert’s Toe

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