Yarmageddon 13 in 2024

This was my first experience of this rock festival in a holiday camp, guaranteeing no weather interrupted performances, and food and drink, and toilets on tap.

I offer this as a record rather than as a  review,

On Thursday evening  at:

 8pm  “Mr Spanky &  The Hipthrusters” featuring the wonderful Rev Kenny Petrie whose romp through classic rock covers was well received, and well done ,the ideal festival opener.

9.25 “ Telegram Sam” serviceable but too reliant upon imploring the crowd to Boogie. Not as good as T Rexstacy

10.50pm The Upbeat Beatles who were surprisingly good majoring on their 3 minute hit singles from the early years. You forget what a great pop band they were.

Friday

 12.30pm Money for Nothing, had the thankless task of opening proceedings to a just assembling and hung over crowd. Totally proficient,  but included a sax player – which is anathema to all die hard fans. An odd set list eschewed  the first two albums and Expresso love. Opening with Sultans of Swing and closing with Brothers in Arms. Enjoyable but a mis fire, wrong time slot, wrong running order.

5.40pm Sex Pistols Expose the hour long set exposed the thinness of the Pistols material with a slew of covers unnecessarily thrown in and “ Belsen was a gas” unforgivably given an airing, Just because you can doesn’t men you should. Visually strong, musically adequate, but short of decent material.

9.20 Boot led Zeppelin were magnificent, Great set list, great performance. Awesome.

9.45 Maet Live. A preposterous Meat Loaf tribute which the crowd loved and I didn’t.

Saturday

12.30pm Straighten Out suffered the same challenges as Money for Nothing the day before. An initially thin crowd,  hung over and unresponsive . The  boys compounded this by a lacklustre performance of a set list which on paper should have been  brilliant, but performed,  was insipid. Very disappointing, I would not see them again

1.50pm  Fleetwood  Bac  Outstanding.

The one hour slot was totally insufficient and shamed straighten out by energising the crowd.

3.10 Green Days  I don’t like Green day and enjoyed their tribute clones even less, unlike the rest of the audience, who loved it

4.30 The Kinks Experience. Fronted by an energetic young band they were terrific with a shrewdly chosen mix of the hits and the best  of the rest. Outstanding. They played as if their lives depended upon it.

8.40 Rainbow in Rock. Exceptionally wonderful with a scintillating “Catch the rainbow”.

Sunday

12.30 Sack Sabbath – who cares about the early slot they blew the place apart!

A fantastic weekend full of fantastic music and fantastic people. A special shout out to the stage crew who unbelievably kept the show times on point and the tech working.

The whole point is to experience a smorgasbord of music. Some will be from tributes where you barely remember the originals, some from much anticipated tributes, and some original music. They will delight, frustrate and entertain in unexpected and unequal measure, but will always leave you with a smile on your face.

Roll on 2025

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Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes- Film

An awful new instalment of an old franchise.

The script writer had the month off, as there were so few words spoken, the CGI creators went into overdrive with convincing apes and lush sets

The story was dreadful, a hybrid Western Revenge story with dollops of cod philosophy thrown in. It follows a new group of characters featuring Noa an ape who is learning about the human world and what Caesar was. After his village was attacked by a tyrannical Ape named Proximus. Noa and a human Mae  ( Freya Allen  )  have to work together to help stop him. There are factions between humans and apes and these factions have  confrontations, but it all seems contrived  even though some time has   been spent on the ape’s  culture , traditions, habits and costumes.

But the narrative is desperately slow, the action sequences contrived and pasted together to attempt to create some pace, but even that fails, a generic jeopardy/rescue scene on a bridge is laughable with the cliched  outstretched hand ( think Cliffhanger) risible. Director  Wes Ball echoes the established ape society precepts of fairness, loyalty and communal solidarity slavishly.

A great idea has run out of ideas – avoid.

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Back to Black – Film

 

I was a fan of Winehouse contemporaneously, and still am. Given her  chaotic, controversial career I approached this with trepidation. My verdict? An entertaining watch, but a flawed experience.

Her early years are pretty much bypassed, her first meeting with the notorious , soon to be her  husband Blake Fielder-Civil (Jack O’Connell) doe eyed, rose tinted and gushingly sympathetic- maybe with one eye on a law suit from Fielder

 Marisa Abela is visually convincing as Amy; her relationship with her father less so, Mitch (Eddie Marsan), is  treated sympathetically ( the family endorsed h film and cooperated and his pull on her underplayed. The Camden Town location shots are good. But her death is treated suddenly, perfunctorily and unsatisfactorily

Fans of her music will have enough to enjoy, students of her history will not.

Director Sam Taylor-Johnson’s  focus on Amy’s personal life is entirely speculative –  the role of Mark Ronson  is largely ignored,

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From the  Caribbean  to the Mediterranean

I do not enjoy long flights, and the 8.5 hour o Bridgetown Barbados was made palatable only by the knowledge of our destination. Having arrived in later afternoon , our arrival ws a whirlwind. No passport control no baggage collection- it was packed straight onto the coach .Within 15 minutes we were speeding through largely deserted  streets past wooden and tin shack housing before entering Bridgetown itself and the unremarkable port.

Boarding was quick, easy, and efficient onto Explorer 2

First stop St Lucia where we enjoyed a fabulous day trip organised by an ad hoc facebook group. Stops included a rum tasting, the Pitons ( literally the tits)mountains and the volcanic springs, so hot I passed out afterwards.

 The French dependency   Guadeloupe was next and a shared taxi ride to the beach which was brilliant. A classic Caribbean beach with beach towels I wish I had bought but didn’t and great seafront resturants where I made the mistake of ordering lobster by the helping and not by weight leaving me 100 euros poorer an a lot wiser at the end.

Antigua, an old British colony was last, and it felt very British- without the rain. A lobster boat and beach trip  was particularly memorable

And then six days at sea losing an hour each day, which by the end became tiring before we reached the Azores first Ponta Delgada

Then Horta

Another day at sea

before my first time in Cadiz, a magnificent coastal, maritime city at which I wish we could have spent more time.

Engine problems meant we had to miss our last scheduled stop at messina, Sicily,Italy which was a great shame But all was forgotten for the sail into Dubrovnik which was beautiful followed by an equally scenic drive to the airport.

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From the Mediterranean to the Caribbean

Our adventure started in a still warm Malaga , Spain on 27th Nov 2023.

Our first voyage on Explorer 2. The weather was fine and pleasant enough to sunbathe on the pool deck.

Our first stop was Gibraltar which we had visited twice before, so we disembarked to stretch our legs only, having done the sights before.

We were disappointed to be informed that our scheduled stop at Madeira was cancelled due to industrial action at the port, but delighted to learn that had been replaced with a  visit to Las Palmas Gran Canaria, which we had not visited before.

Having previously turned my nose up at the Canary Islands I was very pleasantly surprised, and impressed.

We had visited Antigua earlier on in the year and were delighted to visit again. It did not disappoint.

This was my first visit to the Dominican Republic, a highly prosperous ex Spanish colony sharing an island with the chaotic and anarchic Haiti. Amber Cove, Puerta Plata was a purpose built cruise stop, and felt it, an artificial commercial stopover. We could have been anywhere and felt like a Florida style Disney creation

Next stop should have been  Grand Turk , an island in the Turks and Caicos Islands, a British Overseas Territory, tropical islands in the Lucayan Archipelago of the Atlantic Ocean and northern West Indies,  the largest island in the Turks Islands. Unfortunately bad weather meant we could not dock there so we proceeded to Ocho Rios Jamaica which I was pleased about as it gave us a full day on an island I had not previously visited.

And finally the magnificent Montego Bay, Jamaica, the highlight of which was an armed escort for our coach through the stationary local traffic to the airport. A marvellous trip the only downsides were losing an hour a day as we headed west- it catches up with you after a week and the long flight home after a short flight to spain.

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Eastern Mediterranean Cruise

Marmaris harbour in the background

We are finally unpacked following our Ottoman odyssey week, our fourth Marella cruise. Here are my thoughts:

Our Gatwick flight was delayed by half an hour, but apart from some seat swapping after a new aircraft was procured it caused no problems. The three and a half hour flight was  bearable and uneventful. but i hate Gatwick.

Dalaman airport physically  impressed, as did its  high prices. The Turks are spending a massive amount of money on infrastructure shaming the Uk’s torpid progress. Security was high reflecting the presence of drones in military hangars on the other side of the airport with Syria, Iraq and Lebanon all within easy flying distance.

I found the 90 minute coach transfer a welcome opportunity to take in my surroundings, mountains, rivers, a flood plain marble quarries and lots and lots of building materials yards.

We were last on Discovery in the Far East, justs pre covid, and seeing her was like greeting an old friend with many happy memories flooding back. Embarkation formalities were lightning fast, we were on board within five minutes of the coach pulling into Marmaris , a place which immediately impressed.

We like sea days, day one gave us a chance to familiarise ourselves with the ship again, take in the evening show and prepare for Istanbul. My decision to pay for a balcony cabin was immediately vindicated  during  a magnificent sail into this wonderful city, having set the alarm to witness the event.

the £4.1 billion new Gallata port cruise terminal

I have been  to Istanbul before, you could visit for a week and jus scratch the surface. In the morning we took in Istanbul Modern the tremendous new gallery dedicated to modern art  opened in May 2023, built on the site of a famous brothel dating back to Genoese times.

The five-story, 10,500 m2 (113,000 sq ft) building was designed by Pritzker Prize-winning architect Renzo Piano, and  has a fabulous terrace restaurant overlooking the Bosphorus. We spent the entire morning there, but could have spent all day.

Thereafter we wandered around the Galata Artistic quarter, full of art and restaurants including this magnificent breakfast before taking a Bosphorus cruise down both sides of the strait for half the price of the ship excursion. A successful day!

Day 3 was a visit to  the island of Bozcaada which I had never heard of before. I love tender visits, although those on the tender whose engine seized as the weather deteriorated probably didn’t!

The island was pretty with brightly painted buildings, quaint side streets and the inevitable castle, and the museum fascinating, we spent longer than we anticipated there as a thunderstorm broke over the island. Memorable for that reason, but half  day sufficed ashore.

Day4 Bodrum was a delight with good weather and loads to see as we walked the front to the castle. A beautiful marina and some nice restaurants too

It was amazing to see Socrates ‘ shop still trading!

Day5  Our first organised tour- to Knossos and a “traditional Cretan village”. Knossos was a delight, only 20 minutes drive, but the 90 minutes spent there was far too brief. The “ traditional Cretan Village” ( I should have guessed)  was a Disney creation adjunct to a hotel complex. The “museum” and “traditional craft” shops were closed, lunch comprised a glass of wine a bit of green salad, some bread and nuts. At £104 for two I felt cheated. We were not the only complainees  at destination services.

Day6 Rhodes was delightful  and the perfect port to wander around at leisure which we did.

Day 7 our return from Marmaris was slick, well organised and uneventful, the closing views delightful

All in all, a wonderful week, the service was excellent, our cabin was fantastic, the food good, we normally dined in 47 and always shared a table to meet new people, the highlight of which was being seated with Rosemary Brown and her husband. Her knowledge is second to none This view at night was worth the balcony money on its own.

The shows were consistently entertaining in the Broadway lounge with the “From Broadway to the West End” show a closing highlight. Sitting close to the front it was apparent that recorded chorus parts were being used together with some guide lead vocals but I don’t think anyone else noticed for a show that was unquestionably a success.

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The Importance of Being Earnest? – Derby Theatre

*****

This show has been garnering scintillating reviews ever since its Edinburgh Fringe debut , plaudits and subsequent tour, which continues.

`I had been expecting improvised chaos. Instead  we were treated to a meticulously crafted comedy which was skilfully presented as improvised chaos in the manner which Morecambe and Wise perfected half a century ago.

The  “Say it again sorry” company only use the Oscar Wilde original play as a very rough hook on which to hang proceedings. When the actor playing Earnest fails to appear an audience member is dragooned to replace him proving the centrepiece for the evening. Jake is apparently a teacher whose monosyllabic answers to prompts suggest that his lessons are very short and whose idea of a good time is to take his girlfriend to Nandos.

Before long Holly is also prised from the audience, but not before successfully auditioning for her part by reciting the song “I’m a Believer” in a German accent.

What follows is a carefully concocted alchemy of  pantomime, slapstick, farce and improvisation. Inevitably Director Simon is frequently needed on stage to sort things out. Played by Josh Haberfield whose appearance and laconic delivery is eerily close to that of Jimmy Carr, director Simon invariably makes things worse and is the dramatic pivot around which all else revolves. He has a sidekick, stage hand Josh, whose  ineptitude and doe eyes are eerily close to Manuel in Fawlty Towers. Playing an idiot is no easy task, and Ben Man does so to great comic effect.

Judith Amsenga has great fun with the part of Lady Bracknell, one of the great  female parts in  British plays . Similarly Trynity Silk excels as Gwendolen becoming increasingly drunk as the story unfolds.

Physical comedy abounds  as a  a jacket is not hung up on the correct peg and alcoholic and non alcoholic drinks swap places. Trynity Silk’s costuming I lush, her single set design utilitarian, functional and eye catching.

This is unquestionably one of the most original and funny comic stage shows I have ever seen. The closing standing ovation demonstrated that I was not alone, as those who were lured out of Derby’s penumbral byways on an unseasonably wet  Tuesday night roared, laughed and cheered. “Earnest”  plays again tonight (29th May”) then continues on nationwide tour appearing at  Mansfield, Bury St Edmunds, Horsham, Stevenage, Lichfield, Aberdeen. Then on to Edinburgh, and I am told London. Don’t miss it

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Sister Act – Birmingham Hippodrome

***

My introduction to this  story was via the 1992 film, starring Whoopi Goldberg  as  undercover nun Deloris, whose acting, comic and singing abilities defined the story. For this production Landi Oshinowo fills those FM boots.

The musical differs significantly from the film in narrative, script, characterisation, songs and score. Bafflingly,  “ I will follow him” is dropped, which is akin to dropping “Don’t Cry for me Argentina ” from “Evita”.

On the night, the star of the show is  Alfie Parker as policeman Eddie Southern. His  vocals steal the show, and his comic stage presence lights up the evening. Sue Cleaver’s Mother Superior  is posh and restrained ( light years away from her Coronation St persona Eileen Grimshaw) and an effective foil for the effervescent  Oshinowo but this production is about the ensemble, not the leads, as Parker, and Elliot Gooch as TJ, demonstrated.

The music is a curious affair. This is not a soul or gospel  show, nor is it  disco or funk, but an idiosyncratic hybrid in which each of those forms are referenced, laden by  in jokes, with Barry White and “funky weekend” amongst them. A live band in the pit, led by Tom Slade,  are punchy and loud with Johnny Mayer’s bass laying down some impressive funky rhythms.

Numerous cameos entertain and impress from the ensemble. Julie Stark’s Sister Mary Lazarus is whacky, Isabel Canning’s Sister Mary Patrick is a strong comic turn and Eloise Runette Sister Mary Robert  who finds herself as the show evolves delivers a superb second half solo. The boys have their moment as the hoodlums with their singing trio in the second act.

The stage set, by Morgan  Large is framed by a giant outer stained glass  clock face enabling scene changes to be established with props only, making it both imposing and extremely functional.

I found the first act a little chaotic, but the second act came alive dramatically and musically, with Director Bill Buckhurst pulling out all the stops for a barnstorming finale which must have quadrupled the costume budget. There is a limit to what you can do with a troop of singing nuns in black habits,  and choreographer Alistair David combines eye catching routines, with sparkly costumes and a Studio 54 vibe  to provide a killer finish  which had a full house on its feet on an unseasonably wet and dank Monday evening opening night. The audience loved it, very much a case of “Sisters are doing it for themselves.”

My own view was that Sue Cleavers semi spoken songs (think Telly Savalas with “if”) were not good enough, and that Oshinowo did not have the commanding presence of a lead.

Runs until Saturday 18th may and continues on nationwide tour.

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There’s a Monster in Your Show, by Tom Fletcher- Derby Theatre

Author Tom Fletcher has declared: “I want kids to feel this is a show that they are a part of, not just coming to watch.” And for the fifty minutes of this performance he was as good as his word. The only question that adults need answering  is,  “Will children aged 2-7 be entertained and engaged by the production?” – the answer is a resounding yes.

I took along a two and five year old as my expert reviewers : “brilliant” was their verdict. They loved not having to sit down and be quiet kind  and howled at the mischief  which is lovingly transposed  from the book, to the stage and helping  the monsters along the way.

A pre show front of house routine sets the scene of how things are going to unfold and introduces the audience to the cast.

The entire auditorium was dancing along to the choreographed routines led by the four energetic performers Aka the storymakers, it was compulsory for parents and grandparents to join in!

The Little Monster is  the star of the show appearing around the  colourful stage and on backlit screens in pantomime style “it’s behind you” routines

The story makers try everything to get the monster back in his book, but with no luck, until the children become involved, as  Little Monster is joined by his friends, Dragon, Alien and Unicorn, and all four go on a mischievous journey.

The show is absolutely faithful to the original book instantly connecting with those children who have already read it and introducing it to those who have not. The 1pm start time was rewarded with an almost full house and ideal for very young children. It continues on nationwide tour: https://www.ents24.com/uk/tour-dates/theres-a-monster-in-your-show

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Sinatra Raw – Derby Theatre

Richard Shelton is Frank Sinatra in this self penned production. He is best known as a TV  actor  who performed in ITV’s Emmerdale playing  Adam Forsythe between 2005 and 2006, before going on to portray Frank Sinatra in Rat Pack Confidential in London’s West End.

In RAW he takes us to the Purple Room in Palm Springs USA in 1971   to revisit his career with Dean Martin, Carey Grant,  and Sophia Loren in attendance, sadly Ava Gardner was unable to make it. Tonight he has only a keyboard player to accompany him, but on other dates he is joined by a full orchestra. The pared back presentation assists, rather than detracts from, his performance. Sinatra’s talent lay as much in his phrasing as his singing, stripped of peripheral noise we could hear not only every word, but every syllable of every word Of his songs.

Inevitably the audience is predominantly older, 70+, reflecting his golden era which predates rock and pop. A superstardom fueled by a handful of tv and radio stations providing a media focus of massive intensity and a cinema presence which took him all over the globe.

Shelton appears solo in an ubiquitous dinner jacket accompanied by a keyboard player only. The format is part concert recital, part “ an audience with”, as Sinatra delivers  chronological anecdotes about his career interspersed with live audience interaction and banter  which is very slick.

The anecdotes are part entertainment, and part history, the majority of which I was unaware. Both seamlessly stitch together the song running order  capturing the highs and lows of Sinatra’s career. JFK, Bing Crosby, presidential elections, the Mafia Mob and the Civil Rights movement of 1964 are all touched upon.

Split into two 45 minute halves the song selection is adroitly chosen and sumptuously delivered. Although I am not a devotee, I knew all the songs which were not confined to the big hits –  the lesser known “Summer Wind” was an absolute joy.

Yes he did close the main set with “My Way”. Live, the debt that   David Bowie’s “Life on Mars” owes the song is strikingly apparent, before the “New York” encore brought down the final curtain. Shelton has put together something special, a show in which he plays Sinatra, acts Sinatra, adopts all of his mannerisms and sings Sinatra  superbly. Continues on nationwide tour including a Dudley date for Wolverhampton born Shelton: https://highfieldproductions.com/richard-shelton/tour-dates/

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